From the creators of MAGA and MAHA, here comes MISGA!

Keeping employers and the MAGA base happy is hard. But never fear: A solution is at hand.

By Shalise Manza Young

From the administration bringing us MAGA and MAHA, get ready for MISGA!

That’s right, folks, Make Indentured Servitude Great Again! Coming soon to a plantation crop field near you!

Stephen Miller’s craven desire to deport, dehumanize, and dragoon every person on these lands who looks even marginally Latino or Black—you know, those lazy leeches being rounded up while they’re looking for work or actively working and paying taxes into a system they generally cannot benefit from—is having significant consequences. Namely, that the fruits and vegetables we eat are starting to rot and the meat packs we pile into our carts at Costco aren’t processing themselves.

And our neighbors trying to survive the massive policy failure that is American poverty, well they have been asking for too damn much—health care?!? Food for their children?!? A roof over their heads?!?

Greedy, greedy, the whole lot of them.

Their desperation for basic human rights such as health care, food, and shelter so disgusted the Republican members of Congress that they voted earlier this month to rev up their starvation and suffering through massive cuts to Medicaid and SNAP, celebrating the passage of their big, bulls–t bill by awkwardly clapping along to President Donald Trump’s inexplicable signature rally song, the gay anthem “YMCA.”

Enter MISGA!

Major corporations have been asking Trump to chill on the abductions of their migrant workers; estimates vary, but the U.S. Department of Agriculture reported last year that as many as 42% of crop workers have no legal work status.

Ridding the country of undocumented violent criminals was Trump’s signature issue in the 2024 campaign. It was, of course, folly to believe that he would stop at criminals because there just aren’t nearly as many as he claimed, nor were there nearly as many people “streaming” over the border illegally, a number he seemed to increase by millions nearly every time he brought it up.

In a matter of weeks, deporting felons became caging people who have been here for years with no record or who had received protected status. The administration has even temporarily detained U.S. citizens, apparently for the crime of having a “foreign” name.

So, you see Trump’s dilemma. Keep America’s food supply at levels needed to keep prices from skyrocketing, or appease the rabid followers that won’t be happy until there’s a concentration camp in every MAGA-loving county?

The administration has seemingly hit on its solution. You got it: indentured servitude.

Trump, claiming he is both “the strongest immigration guy that there’s ever been” and “the strongest farmer guy that there’s ever been,” floated the idea in a Fox News interview.

“The farmers can be responsible for some of the people. They’re not going to have citizenship, but they’ll be working. They’ll be paying taxes. We need to get our farmers the people they need,” he said.

It’s not enough that many undocumented workers already earn a pittance for their back-breaking labor, but now those who travel to California’s rich farmlands or the meat processing plants of the Midwest will be working under constant threat of deportation or violence if they anger or disappoint the farmers “responsible” for them. Do we really think there would be safety standards or ethical behavior?

Though Trump seems to be in favor of limiting raids, reporting from Axios indicates that the cruelest members of the administration—namely Miller, Homeland Security head Kristi Noem, and White House Chief of taff Susie Wiles—do not want to work on solutions or amnesty for some; they want all undocumented people gone, no matter how critical they are to our food supply.

Last Friday’s raid on two California cannabis farms would indicate that Miller & Co. are the ones instructing ICE. The violent, chaotic scene between agents, protestors, and migrants left one worker dead from injuries he suffered during the event.

Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins posited her own potential fix during a recent news conference.

“When you think about it, there are 34 million able-bodied adults in our Medicaid program. There are plenty of workers in America," she said, intentionally ignoring the fact that unlike SNAP or other programs, recipients do not get direct checks; the money goes to doctors and medical centers.

Who cares that Rollins also inflated her numbers? A recent report shows that there are only 15 million adult Medicaid recipients who aren’t working full time, and nearly two-thirds of those people are primary caregivers, students, or are temporarily disabled.

If they want to see a doctor, they’d better report to their nearest farming facility. Sure, it might be hundreds or even thousands of miles away from home, but dammit you’d better start picking plums for your prescriptions!

Heck, those masked Immigration and Customs Enforcement marauders on horseback Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass chased out of her city’s MacArthur Park? Just repurpose them! When they say “make America great again,” they never really specify; in this case, “again” could be the 1820s, when overseers whipped the enslaved Blacks who weren’t harvesting the tobacco fast enough. And because a half-million Haitians have been stripped of their protective status without warning and will soon be in ICE’s crosshairs, it will totally be just like old times!

See, it can work for everyone! MISGA, baby!

Shalise Manza Young was most recently a columnist at Yahoo Sports, focusing on the intersection of race, gender, and culture in sports. The Associated Press Sports Editors named her one of the 10 best columnists in the country in 2020. She has also written for the Boston Globe and Providence Journal. Find her on Bluesky @shalisemyoung.

---