Active Empathy is life-changing

A word about “the stranger”

As you are reading this, I am spending the day with family and friends in observation of Passover (Pesach). However, before heading out of town I wanted to share a few thoughts about the holiday.

Given recent events, it seems essential to reaffirm one of the central messages, if not the central message, of the 8-day celebration. Pesach means many things to Jews around the world: remembering the story of Jews’ flight from Egypt, the struggle against slavery, the quest for freedom (to receive and abide by the law), and, of course, sharing wonderful food and love of family and friends.

However, as the late Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, former chief rabbi of the UK reminded us, the holiday emphasizes—more than anything else—empathy:

If there is one command above all others that speaks of the power and significance of empathy, it is the line in this week’s Parsha: “You shall not oppress a stranger, for you know the heart of a stranger: You were strangers in the land of Egypt” (Ex. 23:9).

Why this command? The need for empathy surely extends way beyond strangers. It applies to marriage partners, parents and children, neighbors, colleagues at work, and so on. Empathy is essential to human interaction generally. Why then invoke it specifically about strangers?

The answer is that “empathy is strongest in groups where people identify with each other: family, friends, clubs, gangs, religions or races.” The corollary to this is that the stronger the bond within the group, the sharper the suspicion and fear of those outside the group. It is easy to “love your neighbor as yourself.” It is very hard indeed to love, or even feel empathy for, a stranger.

There could be no more relevant message today, as we see immigrants targeted, demonized, abused, deported, and abandoned. Of all the many outrages perpetrated by the Trump regime, the worst may be its baseless, cruel, and blatantly illegal deportation of Venezuelans to hellish circumstances without an opportunity to hear evidence against them and mount a defense. (I am reminded of another story in Genesis: Joseph, thrown in a pit by his brothers and left for dead.)

The deportations do not only violate the most fundamental rights of due process. They also exemplify MAGA officials’ utter lack of humanity for anyone who does not look, sound, and think as they do. It is the antithesis of empathy—the worst governmental abuse of power in my lifetime directed at people least able to defend themselves.

According to ProPublica’s bone-chilling reporting, flight attendants on deportation flights were told that in case of an emergency, “evacuating detainees was not a priority or even the flight attendants’ responsibility.” It is hard to escape the conclusion that evacuees are treated as being less than human. (“Don’t talk to the detainees. Don’t feed them. Don’t make eye contact,” attendants were told.) That is consistent with the vile rhetoric, mockery, and debasement Trump and his MAGA goons have attempted to normalize. Any decent person should find such behavior repulsive.

That brings us back to the Pesach story. “Fear of the one-not-like-us is capable of disabling the empathy response. That is why this specific command is so life-changing,” Sacks explained. “Not only does it tell us to empathize with the stranger because you know what it feels like to be in his or her place. It even hints that this was part of the purpose of the Israelites’ exile in Egypt in the first place.” He continued: “It is as if God had said, your sufferings have taught you something of immense importance.” As Jews, we are told, “You have been oppressed; therefore, come to the rescue of the oppressed, whoever they are. You have suffered; therefore, you shall become the people who are there to offer help when others are suffering.”

The obligation to care for strangers is critical, particularly because they are not part of the community and not easily able to, in our modern parlance, “work the system.” So, this Pesach, we should not only keep strangers front and center; we should commit to action on their behalf.

Merely thinking about others is hardly sufficient. “[A]ctive empathy is life-changing, not only for you but for the people with whom you interact,” as Sacks put it. We all have the obligation to tend to the stranger, to alleviate his or her suffering, and to oppose abuse of power.

We have our work cut out for us.

We hope your Pesach is delicious, meaningful, and joyful! I will be back on Tuesday.